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Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.

Tokyo Portal Outage Delays Millions Of Japanese Warp Commuters

TOKYO—Saying the outdated system needed to be upgraded or replaced to avoid similar problems going forward, millions of inconvenienced Japanese warp commuters expressed frustration Thursday following a Tokyo portal outage that caused delays of up to eight seconds.
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Does Iran Pose A Threat?

While Iran did free the British sailors it detained last month, the country is still threatening to restart its nuclear program. What do you think?
  • "So a country in the Mideast has been acting irrationally? I guess that's news."

    Kenneth Ridener Systems Analyst
  • "Like it or not, the time to stop this is right now, before we're forced to restore the Soviet Union and beat them at hockey again."

    Donald Stiles Tax Examiner
  • "Remember the good old days when Iran and Iraq were always at war with each other, and nobody else gave a shit who won or lost?"

    Brenda Stearns Archivist
  • "As the manager of the long-forgotten '80s sensation A Flock Of Seagulls, this can only be good for me."

    Alfredo Mireles Cook
  • "Show me where the U.N. charter states that sovereign nations have the right to behave like the U.S."

    Jeffrey Eubanks Truck Driver
  • "Should we take action against Iran? We just liberated them. Check your facts before asking stupid questions."

    Karla Finik Hairdresser

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Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

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