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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Dog Cloning

Last week, the South Koreans became the first to clone a dog, reigniting a longstanding ethical debate. What do you think?
  • "This is a crucial breakthrough, as it's nearly impossible to get two dogs to fuck anymore."

    Gary Burch Purchasing Agent
  • "I heard that cloned dog is highly unstable. Supposedly, if you pet it, its head'll, like, blow up."

    Kim Casarez Assessor
  • "As a Christian fundamentalist with a literal stance toward interpreting Scripture, I can't help but think that this could have saved Noah a lot of deck space."

    Dede Greenwald NA Counselor
  • "Did they rip the dog in two? Because that's how I cloned my starfish."

    Joshua Green Pile-Driver Operator
  • "The terrifying world of the future turns out to be pretty friggin' cute. Puppy! Puppy!"

    Bulah Albers Systems Analyst
  • "I'm not sure what I think about the Koreans cloning a dog, but I'm pretty sure I know what my hateful loudmouth racist of a neighbor's gonna say."

    Mark Golin Watchmaker

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