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DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Dog Cloning

Last week, the South Koreans became the first to clone a dog, reigniting a longstanding ethical debate. What do you think?
  • "This is a crucial breakthrough, as it's nearly impossible to get two dogs to fuck anymore."

    Gary Burch Purchasing Agent
  • "I heard that cloned dog is highly unstable. Supposedly, if you pet it, its head'll, like, blow up."

    Kim Casarez Assessor
  • "As a Christian fundamentalist with a literal stance toward interpreting Scripture, I can't help but think that this could have saved Noah a lot of deck space."

    Dede Greenwald NA Counselor
  • "Did they rip the dog in two? Because that's how I cloned my starfish."

    Joshua Green Pile-Driver Operator
  • "The terrifying world of the future turns out to be pretty friggin' cute. Puppy! Puppy!"

    Bulah Albers Systems Analyst
  • "I'm not sure what I think about the Koreans cloning a dog, but I'm pretty sure I know what my hateful loudmouth racist of a neighbor's gonna say."

    Mark Golin Watchmaker
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