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Dogs As Smart As 2-Year-Olds

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Kids Excited Mom Learning To Swear

PESHTIGO, WI—After a lifetime of assiduously avoiding the use of foul language, Helen Chernak, 59, is finally learning to swear, her delighted offspring reported Monday.

Parents Of Crying Child Must Not Be Any Good

WOODBURY, MN—Noting how the pair’s failure to promptly resolve the situation was a clear indication of their inability to raise or care for another human being, sources confirmed Friday that the parents of a crying infant must not be any good.

How To Adopt A Child

Adoption is a beautiful way to provide a loving home for a child, though it is a logistically complex process that might take months or even years to complete. Here are the steps involved in adopting a child:

The Pros And Cons Of Helicopter Parenting

The rising trend of “helicopter parenting,” or hovering over a child’s educational, social, extracurricular, and home life, has been praised by some as true dedication to one’s kids and decried by others for potentially smothering a child’s independent development. Here are the pros and cons of helicopter parenting

Conductor Fatigue Blamed In Massive Model Train Crash

BLOOMINGTON, IN—After surveying the dozen railcars and cargo of Lincoln Logs strewn haphazardly across the grass mat, investigators concluded Friday that a massive model train derailment was the result of conductor fatigue.
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Dogs As Smart As 2-Year-Olds

Researchers have found that dogs are capable of comprehending up to 250 words, can count to five, and are capable of deception, putting them on par with 2-year-old children. What do you think?
  • "Not my 2-year-old. He's pretty dumb."

    David Munro Systems Analyst
  • "If that's true, then why was everyone at the park so shocked when my dog kept asking me, 'Why?'"

    Paulette Long Window Framer
  • "Not only was my pit bull as smart as a 2-year-old, he was also many times stronger than a 9-year-old, according to the county coroner's office."

    Michael Kimball Joint Filler

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