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Google Unveils New Larry Page–Driven Car

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Touting the project as its most advanced foray yet into the realm of personal transportation, Google unveiled its new Larry Page–driven car at a press event Wednesday.

Trump Outlines Bold Vision For Nation’s Next Mass Protests

WASHINGTON—Stirring the emotions of citizens across the nation with his strong and affecting rhetoric, President Donald Trump outlined a bold vision for the country’s next mass protests during his address to a joint session of Congress Tuesday night.

What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.
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Dogs Originated In Middle East

Using genetic markers, researchers at the University of California, Los Angeles, have discovered that dogs were likely first domesticated from wolves in the Middle East. What do you think?

  • "Maybe yours was, but mine sure as hell came from the ol’ U S of A."

    Martin Drozd Beam Warper
  • "Yes, but dogs were first turned into surrogate children in the Western Hemisphere during the mid-20th century."

    Laura Ivins Holter Technician
  • "Now all I have to do is fill in about 20,000 years of genealogy and I'll have a complete pedigree for my boxer, Raymond."

    Bill Coyne Quirk Sander
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Trump Outlines Bold Vision For Nation’s Next Mass Protests

WASHINGTON—Stirring the emotions of citizens across the nation with his strong and affecting rhetoric, President Donald Trump outlined a bold vision for the country’s next mass protests during his address to a joint session of Congress Tuesday night.

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