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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.
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Dogs' Thoughts 'Read' With MRI

Using fMRI imagery, scientists were able to see which parts of the brain were activated when specially trained dogs were offered treats. What do you think?

  • "With these sophisticated technologies, we'll be able to use ordinary treats to bend the dog to our will."

    Joshua Guadagni Turbine-Blade Assembler
  • "Did he say anything about walking in on me getting dressed that one time? Be specific. I'd really like to know what he thought."

    Bruce Robson Automatic Screwmaker
  • "Why dogs? What I really want to find out is what hummingbirds are thinking. So many wing flaps per minute!"

    Susan Richings Millwright

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