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The Pros And Cons Of Gene Editing

Recent advancements in gene editing have introduced a number of exciting possibilities for human advancement and raised difficult ethical questions. The Onion breaks down the pros and cons of gene editing.

Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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Dolphins And The Military

In a move that has outraged many animal-rights activists, the U.S. Navy is using dolphins to find underwater mines in Iraqi harbors. What do you think?
  • "It's one thing to put human lives at risk in a war, but dolphins? That's just unconscionable."

    Arthur Bond Systems Analyst
  • "I support the U.S. dolphin military program. For many dolphins, the G.I. Bill is the only way they can afford college."

    George Goff Auto Mechanic
  • "As someone who wore a T-shirt with a dolphin on it almost every day in fourth grade, I find this development troubling. My nickname in school was 'fishshirt.'"

    Dorothea Klapp Graphic Designer
  • "I gave up canned tuna for the dolphins, and now they're just blowing them to shit?"

    Melvin Adams Electrician
  • "Sure, they'll tell you about the success of the Navy dolphins, but will they tell you about the 10,000-dolphin protest in Chicago last weekend?"

    Eleanor Reese Painter
  • "This is the military. We should be amazed they're not using baby chicks."

    Dan Mora Civil Engineer

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