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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.
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Donald Trump Nominated For Nobel Peace Prize

Among those nominated for the 2016 Nobel Peace Prize, Donald Trump has made the list beside Pope Francis, the Afghan women’s cycling team, and others due to a nomination letter written by an unknown supporter who praised Trump’s “vigorous peace through strength ideology.” What do you think?

  • “It is true that he hasn’t killed anyone yet.”

    Jermaine Wilkins Systems Analyst
  • “Imagine how embarrassed he must be, nominated in the same category as a group of women.”

    Talia Bowman Ramen Assembler
  • “Yeah, but he’ll probably get robbed by some doctor who set up a nonprofit to feed hungry orphans or something.”

    Fred O’Donnell Unemployed
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