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Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

How Trump Plans To ‘Drain The Swamp’

One of Donald Trump’s central presidential campaign promises was to “drain the swamp” by ridding Washington politics of corruption and corporate influence. Here’s how he plans to do it.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Donald Trump Nominated For Nobel Peace Prize

Among those nominated for the 2016 Nobel Peace Prize, Donald Trump has made the list beside Pope Francis, the Afghan women’s cycling team, and others due to a nomination letter written by an unknown supporter who praised Trump’s “vigorous peace through strength ideology.” What do you think?

  • “It is true that he hasn’t killed anyone yet.”

    Jermaine Wilkins Systems Analyst
  • “Imagine how embarrassed he must be, nominated in the same category as a group of women.”

    Talia Bowman Ramen Assembler
  • “Yeah, but he’ll probably get robbed by some doctor who set up a nonprofit to feed hungry orphans or something.”

    Fred O’Donnell Unemployed

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