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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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Doritos Creator Dies

Arch West, the Frito-Lay marketing executive credited with inventing the Dorito snack chip, died at 97. What do you think?

  • "Dammit. It’s getting harder and harder by the day for a girl to snare a snack pioneer."

    Darcy Roach Brush Finisher
  • “To make it to 97 I’m guessing he erred more on the side of Doritos-creating than Doritos-consuming.”

    Torrens Layaway Clerk
  • "I bet that guy's car was a complete mess all the time."

    Pete Decoutere Systems Analyst

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