Doritos Creator Dies

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Content From 2011-09-28

Syracuse Leaves Big East For Woman Named 'Misti'

SYRACUSE, NY—In a hastily delivered statement from the passenger side of the young woman’s lime-green Hyundai Tiburon, Syracuse University announced Sunday it was leaving the Big East, the conference it helped create more than 30 years ago, for a 23-year-old exotic dancer and vodka brand ambassador named “Misti.”

Sarah High

ABC Family 7 p.m. EDT/6 p.m. CDT Sarah Girlio is still the odd-Sarah-out in a school full of Sarahs, but things are looking up when Sarah, the football captain, asks her to Sarah-Fest.

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

NCB 10 p.m. EDT/9 p.m. CDT Having no new case to solve this week, the detectives sit around and talk about the freakiest rapes they've seen so far.

Gamers Succeed Where Scientists Couldn't

After trying for more than a decade to create a computer model for a protein key to the reproduction of HIV, scientists turned to online gamers, who completed the task in three weeks. What do you think?

Biden Roof

"So, you ready to see this sweet-ass roof or what?" - Vice-President Biden

Floyd Mayweather

Mayweather is taking a lot of heat for his strange legal-but-uncool victory over Victor Ortiz last week.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Fantasy Sports

Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled

RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.

Doritos Creator Dies

Arch West, the Frito-Lay marketing executive credited with inventing the Dorito snack chip, died at 97. What do you think?

  • "Dammit. It’s getting harder and harder by the day for a girl to snare a snack pioneer."

    Darcy Roach
    Brush Finisher
  • “To make it to 97 I’m guessing he erred more on the side of Doritos-creating than Doritos-consuming.”

    Layaway Clerk
  • "I bet that guy's car was a complete mess all the time."

    Pete Decoutere
    Systems Analyst
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