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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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Dr. Dre Highest-Paid Musician Of 2012

According to Forbes magazine, longtime hip-hop artist and producer Dr. Dre was the highest-paid musician of 2012 with earnings of $100 million, which stemmed largely from his successful Beats by Dre headphones business. What do you think?

  • “Wow! The Beats by Dre guy is a musician, too?”

    Dinah Adler Switchyard Worker
  • “He should write a song about how much money he has.”

    Brian Teller Substation Operator
  • “Those headphones are a total scam. Did you know you have to buy your own music if you want to listen to anything on them?”

    Gustavo Vanzo Amusement Park Owner

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