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Universe Crueler, More Uncaring Place Than Previously Thought

The universe, long known as a bleak and unforgiving place where essentially nothing matters, is in fact even crueler and more heartless than previously thought, according to a startling report published Tuesday by scientists at the Institute for Advanced ...

What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.
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Drew Carey New Price Host

Comedian Drew Carey has been named as Bob Barker's successor as host of The Price Is Right. What do you think?
  • "But Bob Barker was just starting to get the hang of it."

    Carmen Stauffer Phone Salesperson
  • "Really? Did Ted Danson guess $10,000 higher than CBS offered?"

    Robert Marsalla Systems Analyst
  • "Well, I certainly can't think of anyone more or less qualified for the job."

    Pierce Atkinson Mortgage Broker

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