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In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

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The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

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DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Drilling For Oil In Alaska

Seeking to decrease U.S. dependence on Iraqi oil, Senate Republicans want to open Alaska's Arctic National Wildlife Refuge for drilling. What do you think?
  • "It'd be nice if we lived in some magical fantasy world where we could get energy from the sun and the wind, but we need to deal with reality."

    Daniel Mendoza Systems Analyst
  • "America needs to reduce its overall oil consumption, but I can't bring myself to ride the bus with a bunch of puds. So Arctic drilling it is."

    Tim Wills Machinist
  • "How much oil is in one of those seals, anyway?"

    Vincent Putnam Delivery Driver
  • "If I didn't know better, I'd say some oil man stands to make billions on this. Say, the president used to be in the oil business! Maybe he could help us sniff out the culprit!"

    Christine Sample Nurse
  • "If drilling kills off the refuge's indigenous wildlife, that'll give us a nice head start on the next generation of fossil fuels."

    Gene Oliver Real-Estate Agent
  • "We might as well use that oil. If we don't, our children will."

    Diane Bell Architect
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