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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Drinking Diet Soda Linked To Eating More

A study found that overweight individuals who drink diet soda eat more food than regular soda drinkers, with both groups consuming roughly the same number of total calories, as the artificial sweeteners in diet soda prevent the brain from feeling that hunger has been sated. What do you think?

  • “That’s perfect, because people need to eat food to live.”

    Lydia Perbandt Assistant Kindergarten Instructor
  • “But then how do you lose weight if not through soda?”

    Richard Pye Fabric Dyer
  • “I’ve always gotten around that problem by spooning some sugar into my diet soda.”

    Steven Tongeren Right-Of-Way Supervisor
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