adBlockCheck

Drunken Gibson Offends Cops

Top Headlines

Recent News

Entire Broncos Organization Announces Retirement After Super Bowl Win

‘There’s Nothing Better Than Going Out On Top,’ Says Every Denver Player, Coach, Executive, Trainer, Office Administrator, Janitor

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following the team’s 24-10 victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, every single member of the Denver Broncos organization officially announced their retirement Sunday.

Family, Friends Concerned After Peyton Manning Wanders Away From Pocket

SANTA CLARA, CA—Admitting to being “worried sick” after realizing he had suddenly disappeared in the middle of a play, family and friends of Peyton Manning grew incredibly concerned Sunday after the veteran Denver Broncos quarterback wandered away from the pocket during the first quarter of Super Bowl 50, sources confirmed.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Streaming

Originality

Drunken Gibson Offends Cops

After being pulled over, actor Mel Gibson went on a drunken tirade in which he blamed the Jews for being the cause of all the wars and referred to a female officer as "Sugar Tits." What do you think?
  • "I'm grateful to him. During my DWI arrest a couple years ago, I didn't have the guts to tell the truth about Israel."

    Nancy Smith
    Publicist
  • "In typical fashion, the media is trying to sensationalize this relatively tame incident. You name me one person in your workplace who hasn't called someone Sugar Tits."

    Ving Daives
    Mortician
  • "See the lesson here? Never let a Jew get you drunk."

    Andrei Todman
    Astrophysics Professor

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close