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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Dungeons & Dragons Creator Dies

Dungeons & Dragons creator Gary Gygax died this week. What do you think?
  • "I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say that thousands of Americans owe their fictional lives to that man."

    Tom Sutherland Chain Link Fence Installer
  • "I can react 12 different ways to this news, but I just don't know how to decide."

    Kyle Trampier Tailor
  • "Oh, that's sad. I wasn't aware Mr. Gygax was unwell. I'm genuinely sorry for your loss, pussies and faggots."

    Karen Wells Makeup Artist
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