Dylan, Albright, Morrison Receive Medal Of Freedom

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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  • Father Apologizes For Taking Out Anger On Wrong Son

    ELIZABETH, NJ—Moments after losing his composure with an unwarranted emotional outburst, local father David Kessler reportedly apologized to his son Christopher Thursday for erroneously taking out his anger on him and not his older brother Peter.

Dylan, Albright, Morrison Receive Medal Of Freedom

President Obama honored 13 recipients, including former secretary of state Madeleine Albright, singer Bob Dylan, author Toni Morrison, and astronaut John Glenn, with the Medal of Freedom. What do you think?

  • “This is just an honorary medal, though, right? He’s not really going to let these guys go free, is he?”

    Jenny Mitchell
  • “I would’ve picked former secretary of state George Shultz, singer Donovan, author Alice Walker, and astronaut Scott Carpenter, but okay."

    Kevin Henry
    Brake Adjuster
  • “This could really jump-start sales of John Glenn’s back catalog.”

    Lars Bacmeister
    Fabrication Examiner