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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.
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E-Book Sales Fall In Favor Of Print

The years 2015 and 2016 saw a distinct decline in e-book sales, while sales of physical books have risen steadily. What do you think?

  • “Have you fools forgotten about papercuts so quickly?”

    Nora Albert Brand Protector
  • “It doesn’t matter how you read the Unabomber’s manifesto as long as you’re reading it.”

    Dennis Lulan Flyer Printer
  • “It would seem that old Gutenberg wasn’t such a crackpot after all.”

    Pete LaRusso Valve Replacer
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