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Veteran Given Hero’s Welcome Back To Afghanistan

KABUL, AFGHANISTAN—Waving flags and breaking into cheers the moment they spotted the veteran, dozens of joyous citizens gave Marine Pfc. Victor Rosas, 23, a hero’s welcome back to Afghanistan, sources reported Tuesday.

OB-GYN Assures Serena Williams Fetus Developing Serve On Schedule

WEST PALM BEACH, FL—Observing that the unborn child was producing the smooth, fluid strokes expected in the third trimester, ob-gyn Dr. Theresa Umbers reportedly assured world No. 4–ranked tennis player Serena Williams at an appointment Tuesday that her fetus was developing its serve right on schedule.

God Deploys 100,000 More Mosquitoes To U.S.

THE HEAVENS—Directing the reinforcements to areas that had suffered heavy casualties, God, Our Heavenly Father, ordered the deployment of 100,000 more mosquitoes to the United States, sources confirmed Monday.
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E-Books Surpass Hardcovers At Amazon

For every 100 hardcover books Amazon sold in the past three months, the online retailer sold 143 books for its Kindle e-reader. What do you think?

  • "Wow. Maybe I should try to write an e-book instead of a regular one."

    Danielle Shenton Systems Analyst
  • "This is the end of an era. I hate to think of an entire generation being deprived of the pleasure of letting a book fall open to the dirty parts."

    Joe Smith Unemployed
  • "Well, if you're reading a hardcover book, strangers try to start conversations with you. If you're reading off a Kindle, people just stare at your awesome Kindle."

    Mick Aveling Gear-and-Spline Grinder

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