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Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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E-Books Surpass Hardcovers At Amazon

For every 100 hardcover books Amazon sold in the past three months, the online retailer sold 143 books for its Kindle e-reader. What do you think?

  • "Wow. Maybe I should try to write an e-book instead of a regular one."

    Danielle Shenton Systems Analyst
  • "This is the end of an era. I hate to think of an entire generation being deprived of the pleasure of letting a book fall open to the dirty parts."

    Joe Smith Unemployed
  • "Well, if you're reading a hardcover book, strangers try to start conversations with you. If you're reading off a Kindle, people just stare at your awesome Kindle."

    Mick Aveling Gear-and-Spline Grinder

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