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Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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E-Books Surpass Hardcovers At Amazon

For every 100 hardcover books Amazon sold in the past three months, the online retailer sold 143 books for its Kindle e-reader. What do you think?

  • "Wow. Maybe I should try to write an e-book instead of a regular one."

    Danielle Shenton Systems Analyst
  • "This is the end of an era. I hate to think of an entire generation being deprived of the pleasure of letting a book fall open to the dirty parts."

    Joe Smith Unemployed
  • "Well, if you're reading a hardcover book, strangers try to start conversations with you. If you're reading off a Kindle, people just stare at your awesome Kindle."

    Mick Aveling Gear-and-Spline Grinder
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