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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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E-Cigarettes Banned From Commercial Flights

The Department of Transportation announced that the rule banning cigarettes, pipes, and tobacco products on commercial flights will now also encompass the use of e-cigarettes. What do you think?

  • “Sometimes I suspect the government doesn’t even want me to look cool.”

    Don Kimble Parrot Researcher
  • “How else am I supposed to fill a small, enclosed public space with the scent of synthetic butterscotch?”

    Anna Mudgren Parchment Roller
  • “I miss the halcyon days of air travel when the stewardesses would light you a smoke and quietly tolerate your sexual harassment.”

    Lou Hess Divot Filler
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