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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Earhart Died On Pacific Island

The International Group for Historic Aircraft Recovery has concluded that Amelia Earhart died on an uninhabited island after running out of fuel. What do you think?

  • "As long as it's not too late to amend the postage stamps to incorporate this information."

    Shane Jawitz Guyline Operator
  • "If you're flying around the world it's really important to have enough fuel."

    Albertina Spagnuolo Limer
  • "Well, that's too damn bad. I'm not rewriting act three of my new play Amelia & The Overpopulated Peninsula She Died On."

    Stefan Marshall Unemployed
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