Earliest American Scat Found

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Man Commits To New TV Show Just Hours After Getting Out Of 7-Season Series

UNION CITY, NJ—Recommending that he give himself the chance to pause and explore the other options out there, friends of local man Jonathan Gember expressed their concerns to reporters Wednesday that the 29-year-old is already committing to a new television show just hours after getting out of a seven-season-long series.

Earliest American Scat Found

The earliest-known fossilized feces was found recently in Oregon, placing humans on the American continents 1000 years earlier than previously believed. What do you think?
  • "I like to think that in thousands of years somebody is going to be looking at my poop."

    Sarah Fripp
    Systems Analyst
  • "Oh, sure. The only difference between a Nobel Prize and an injunction is a couple hundred thousand years."

    Errol Judd
    Line Cook
  • "How can we be sure that some ancient nerd didn't just carry an already thousand-year-old petrified turd with him when he crossed over the land bridge from Asia?"

    Albert MacKay
    Mechanic
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