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Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.
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Earth's Moon Shrinking

Recent analysis of the moon showed geographic features indicating that earth's only natural satellite is gradually contracting. What do you think?

  • "C'mon, what are these guys, stupid? It'll grow back. It does every month."

    Bill Gira Hand Knotter
  • "See? Everyone laughed at me when I mentioned how the moon looked smaller the other night. But who's laughing now?"

    Lindsey Westberg Machine Adjuster
  • "While its nemesis, Phobos, grows ever stronger."

    Steve Hahn Unemployed

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