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Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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Earth's Moon Shrinking

Recent analysis of the moon showed geographic features indicating that earth's only natural satellite is gradually contracting. What do you think?

  • "C'mon, what are these guys, stupid? It'll grow back. It does every month."

    Bill Gira Hand Knotter
  • "See? Everyone laughed at me when I mentioned how the moon looked smaller the other night. But who's laughing now?"

    Lindsey Westberg Machine Adjuster
  • "While its nemesis, Phobos, grows ever stronger."

    Steve Hahn Unemployed

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