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A Primer On The Dark Web

With many crimes now originating on encrypted areas of the internet, many wonder about the so-called dark web and its activities. The Onion provides a primer on this obscured digital space:

Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.
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East Coast Braces For Blizzard

Thousands of flights have been canceled and several government agencies have shuttered in anticipation of a massive snowstorm making its way to the East Coast, a blizzard that could affect as many as 75 million people in a dozen states. What do you think?

  • “Typical East Coast media bias. It snowed here in Columbus last night, but I didn’t see any news trucks.”

    Tony Gascoyne Noise Meterman
  • “How could the promise of eating beefaroni by candlelight worry anyone?”

    Darryl Jeffers Mustache Barber
  • “Great. The first time in my life a journalist wants to interview me, and it’s to talk about the fucking weather.”

    Monica Penderton Nun Biographer
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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

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