adBlockCheck

Business

President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.
End Of Section
  • More News

eBay Under Fire

Last week, it was reported that eBay.com, the popular, minimally monitored Internet auction house, is being investigated by the federal government for "possible illegal transactions." What do you think?
  • "You mean that Ty Cobb-autographed aluminum bat I bought might be a fake?"

    Marvin Cowens Systems Analyst
  • "No wonder my Splinters of the True Cross came individually wrapped and were mint-flavored."

    Oscar Brookens Roofer
  • "In the future, I'm going to think twice before buying from eBay. Those fries were totally cold when UPS dropped them off."

    Elaine Tobik Bank Teller
  • "The crimes of eBay are a disgrace to its Pig Latin heritage."

    Jenny Hebner Waitress
  • "Fraud on the Internet? Sure, pal. And I suppose my cybersex partner Bossk1701 isn't really a willowy, 20-year-old redhead, either."

    Dave Cappuzzello Custodian
  • "I could buy my goods from a more reputable source. But then I might have to interact with someone of human form."

    Richard Schatzeder Architect

More from this section

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close