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Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:
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Ebert and Roeper Leaving 'Ebert and Roeper'

Film critic Roger Ebert and Chicago Sun-Times columnist Richard Roeper have opted not to renew their contract with Disney, thereby ending their show after eight years together. What do you think?
  • "And thus the sun sets on the golden era of opposable-digit-based art criticism."

    Rebecca Roos Upholsterer
  • "Ebert said the elephant acting like a dog in George Of The Jungle 'blindsided him with laughter.' Now how do you feel about the news?"

    Sam Ryder Filing Clerk
  • "This is going to be like navigating a canal without a gondola driver. Whoa, isn't that a great metaphor? Should I be a movie critic?"

    Chris Lowry Systems Analyst

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