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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Ebola Reaches Ugandan Capital

With 16 confirmed dead from the latest outbreak of Ebola in Uganda, including at least one fatality in the nation’s capital of Kampala, officials are urging citizens to help stem the spread of the highly lethal disease by not shaking hands or having casual sex. What do you think?

  • “Every 20 years I plan a trip to Uganda, and every 20 years, boom, Ebola."

    Marguerite Heutschly Magnetic Tape Winder
  • “If they think that’s bad, they should see every other thing happening in Uganda.”

    Howard Striglos Vinegar Maker
  • “My thoughts go out to all those unable to have casual sex.”

    Herb Thompson Systems Analyst
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