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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Fantasy Sports

FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States

ZURICH—After the Justice Department indicted numerous executives from world soccer’s governing body on charges of corruption and bribery, frantic and visibly nervous officials from FIFA held an impromptu press conference Wednesday to announce that the United States has been selected to host this summer’s 2015 World Cup.

Healthy Living

  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

Economic Stimulus Package On Its Way

Congress agreed on an economic stimulus package that would give individual taxpayers a rebate of up to $600. What do you think?
  • "Perfect. That should cover my moving costs to Toronto."

    Tom Nagle
    Systems Analyst
  • "I wish that once in a while, Congress would give me a tax rebate not to boost their economy, but because they love me."

    Julia Wilding
    Parole Officer
  • "I hope buying $600 worth of waffles helps the economy, because that's what I'm going to do."

    Neville Head
    Dog Trainer
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