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Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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Ed Bradley Dies

60 Minutes correspondent Ed Bradley recently died. What do you think?
  • "Of course: The black one is always the first to get killed off."

    Thad Lukas Systems Analyst
  • "An amazing career capped off by his dignified October 15th interview with a stripper."

    Michelle Fedoruk Shipbuilder
  • "Finally, Andy Rooney can relax around the office."

    Kerry Stanny Speaker Designer

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