adBlockCheck

Recent News

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.
End Of Section
  • More News

Edward Snowden Granted Asylum In Russia

The Russian government today granted temporary asylum to Edward Snowden, allowing him to leave Moscow’s Sheremetyevo Airport, where he has been staying for more than five weeks, and live freely within Russia for one year. What do you think?

  • “Ugh. I hate moving!”

    Cynthia Dalva Unemployed
  • “I hope this doesn’t affect the longstanding warm, trusting partnership we have with Russia.”

    Alec Foy Stent Manufacturer
  • “You can’t be granted asylum in Russia without visiting Saint Basil’s Cathedral!”

    Scott Snetsinger Candy Wholesaler
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close