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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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Edward Snowden Granted Asylum In Russia

The Russian government today granted temporary asylum to Edward Snowden, allowing him to leave Moscow’s Sheremetyevo Airport, where he has been staying for more than five weeks, and live freely within Russia for one year. What do you think?

  • “Ugh. I hate moving!”

    Cynthia Dalva Unemployed
  • “I hope this doesn’t affect the longstanding warm, trusting partnership we have with Russia.”

    Alec Foy Stent Manufacturer
  • “You can’t be granted asylum in Russia without visiting Saint Basil’s Cathedral!”

    Scott Snetsinger Candy Wholesaler

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