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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Fantasy Sports

Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled

RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.

Small Business

Edwards Discourages Sympathy Vote

Presidential contender John Edwards said that he does not want people to support him just because his wife has cancer. What do you think?
  • "Fine. I'll just take my sympathy vote elsewhere then!"

    Colleen Chung
    Usher
  • "What a hero. To not exploit your wife's illness for political gain is really quite admirable."

    Christopher Banner
    Systems Analyst
  • "How dare this man try to dictate to me which trivial reasons I use to pick who I'll vote for?"

    Fred Plumber
    Wrought Iron Gate Installer
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