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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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‘Eleanor Rigby’ Grave For Sale

The grave of the woman after whom the Beatles’ “Eleanor Rigby” is named is going up for auction, theoretically allowing whoever wins to be buried beside her remains. What do you think?

  • “But who’d want to be buried next to a lonely old loser like that?”

    Julia McLeete Bible Tutor
  • “This does seem like the easiest way to ensure at least somebody visits my grave.”

    Tyler Radlow Child Phlebotomist
  • “Finally, an excuse not to be interred next to my wife.”

    Cameron Dickinson Hedge Appraiser

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