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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Elephant Poaching Up Dramatically

According to recent reports from advocacy groups, elephants in central Africa are being slaughtered at rates unseen since the 1980s, with ivory prices skyrocketing due to increased demand from emerging Asian nations, most notably China. What do you think?

  • “I say it’s the elephants’ own damn fault, always flaunting their tusks, right there on their faces.”

    Braden Stys Kennel Attendant
  • “Yeah, if you’re not a careful shopper, there’s ivory in pretty much everything you buy.”

    Daren Trisler Hemodialysis Technician
  • “I think we need more safe places for elephants, like the circus.”

    Megan Hemperly Gravel Inspector
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