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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Eliot Spitzer Announces Return To Politics

Eliot Spitzer, who resigned as New York governor in 2008 after admitting that he solicited call girls from a prostitution ring, confirmed this week that he is running for New York City comptroller, asking voters to forgive him for the scandal so he can return to public service. What do you think?

  • “Wow! As if comptroller elections weren’t exciting enough to begin with.”

    Jerry Rivas Vat Tender
  • “Yet another amoral politician who’s willing to say and do anything in his monomaniacal pursuit of the comptrollership.”

    Amary Downing Bench Designer
  • “What a stand-up thing to do. Hell, I respect him again already.”

    Russ Llewelyn Sales Assistant
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