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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Emanuel Calls For Auto Industry Bailout

Rahm Emanuel, the chief of staff for the president-elect, is calling for a more rapid response to help the struggling auto industry. What do you think?
  • "Why don't they just cut back on costs? I never wear my seat belt."

    Rick Gunderson Delivery Driver
  • "Obama doesn't need to give government money to the auto industry. He just has to tell his disciples to go out and buy a Pontiac, and we'll do it."

    Jessica Kornbluth Dance Instructor
  • "As a person who cares more about cars than people, this is very exciting news. Three cheers for Rahm Emanuel!"

    Tom Schuster EMT

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