adBlockCheck

Recent News

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.

How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.
End Of Section
  • More News

Eminem Remarries Ex-Wife

Eminem, aka Marshal Mathers, remarried his ex-wife Kim, about whom he had written a song involving her murder and dismemberment. What do you think?
  • "Rejoice! The poet doth rediscover his muse!"

    Diego Lasterna Sheriff's Deputy
  • "In my song, I told my wife to die. Okay, it wasn't strictly a 'song.'"

    Marc Tracy Usher
  • "I look forward to the return of Slim Shady's married rage. His 'bachelor' rhymes about microwave burritos and going to the laundromat were getting pretty stale."

    Amanda Harding Publisher

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close