adBlockCheck

Eminem Remarries Ex-Wife

Top Headlines

Recent News

Revelations From The DNC Email Leak

Last week, WikiLeaks posted 20,000 email exchanges among DNC officials, the content of which led to DNC chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz’s resignation on the eve of the convention. Here are some of the key revelations from the leak

CNN Producer On Hunt For Saddest-Looking Fuck With Convention Button Collection

PHILADELPHIA—Weaving his way through the crowd of patriotically dressed attendees excitedly milling around on the floor of the Democratic National Convention, CNN segment producer Jeff Raskin reportedly went on the hunt Monday for the most pitiful-looking fuck willing to speak on camera about their political button collection.

How The IOC Plans To Address Doping

In light of its recent decision not to bar Russian athletes from competing in Rio despite their use of performance-enhancing drugs, the International Olympic Committee is working to establish more effective protocols to keep the Games drug-free. Here are some ways the IOC plans to address doping:

360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Eminem Remarries Ex-Wife

Eminem, aka Marshal Mathers, remarried his ex-wife Kim, about whom he had written a song involving her murder and dismemberment. What do you think?
  • "Rejoice! The poet doth rediscover his muse!"

    Diego Lasterna Sheriff's Deputy
  • "In my song, I told my wife to die. Okay, it wasn't strictly a 'song.'"

    Marc Tracy Usher
  • "I look forward to the return of Slim Shady's married rage. His 'bachelor' rhymes about microwave burritos and going to the laundromat were getting pretty stale."

    Amanda Harding Publisher

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close