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President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.
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End Of The Boom?

Shaken by currency crises in Russia and the Far East, the stock market has plunged more than 1,600 points in the past two months. What do you think about the possibility of a long-term economic slump?
  • "The other traders and I are quite upset. If this keeps up, we may be forced to participate in BMW's humiliating two-year-lease program in lieu of outright ownership."

    Daniel Barkum Trader
  • "Over the past few years, I've been preparing for hard times. And if things get better again, I'll have a few extra jars of urine for my retirement."

    Stephen Youmans Groundskeeper
  • "I sure hope the boom is over. It's hard to recruit people into a doomsday cult when things are going well."

    Frank Gehry Cult Leader
  • "I should make it through this slump just fine, because I have no investments or savings to lose."

    Dana Iselin Waitress
  • "I'd hate to have to return to the days of the late-'80s recession, when I was forced to give a moment of thought before frivolously consuming."

    Lucinda Russell Systems Analyst
  • "The economic boom is over? Shit, I missed another one."

    Roy Caulkins Cashier

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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

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