adBlockCheck

Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
End Of Section
  • More News

End Of The Gingrich Era

On Nov. 6, days after the elections that reduced the Republicans' House lead to just six seats, Newt Gingrich stepped down as Speaker of the House. What do you think about the end of the Gingrich Era on Capitol Hill?
  • "It sure won't be easy finding another mean, privileged, middle-aged white man to take Newt's place."

    Tim Kolloway Graphic Designer
  • "It's sad, but he did the right thing by resigning. He had oral sex with the president, and the only honorable thing was to step down with dignity."

    Diane Astroth Cashier
  • "America will not soon forget the bold challenge Gingrich issued in 1994, when he said, in promos for the new fall CBS line-up, "Okay, Murphy Brown... bring it on."

    Jill Valo Attorney
  • "I know he was a crypto-fascist reactionary, but, doggone it, I'm gonna miss the lovable lunk."

    Robby Byrd Systems Analyst
  • "I hope they at least let Newt keep his beloved silver Speaker of the House helmet."

    Jeff Coleman Truck Driver
  • "I used to worry about Newt. Then I started worrying about the fact that the sun stopped producing neutrinos in the early '80s, indicating that its internal fusion process had stopped. But that was too scary, so now I worry about fashion."

    Gregory Shantz Telemarketer

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close