adBlockCheck

Recent News

‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.
End Of Section
  • More News

‘E.T.’ Video Game Cartridges Unearthed In New Mexico Landfill

A documentary film crew digging in a New Mexico landfill discovered hundreds of discarded cartridges of the 1983 Atari game E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial, which the company allegedly dumped in an unknown location when the game proved a commercial failure. What do you think?

  • “This discovery will no doubt bring closure to some very strange and lonely people.”

    Phoebe Deagle Train Switch Operator
  • “Who awakens this ancient evil?”

    Donald Moore Eyeglass Fitter
  • “I have to remember that as long as you unearth a huge supply of old video games, no one will ask why you were digging in a dump.”

    John Burgess Unemployed

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close