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Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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EU Against Secret Prisons

The European Union is going to impose sanctions against member nations that cooperated with the U.S. CIA-run prisons. What do you think?
  • "Are they going around accusing people of torture? I mean, apparently we torture people who say that shit."

    Geoff Nelson Animal Trainer
  • "It looks like maybe the CIA should return to its former purpose: toppling hostile governments. In this case, the EU."

    Liam Ryan Physician’s Assistant
  • "So suddenly the fatherland of S&M has a problem with torture?"

    Phoebe Plagens Housekeeping

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