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Euro Crisis Hits Rock

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Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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Euro Crisis Hits Rock

Some rock bands, including the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Metallica, have changed the dates of their tours to ensure payment in the event the euro collapses. What do you think?

  • “Those guys have enough money. I’m sure traditional gifts like wooden shoes or cheese wheels would mean more to them anyhow."

    Kathleen Patterson Systems Analyst
  • "God, I hope this doesn't mean they're going to be in the U.S. all summer."

    Marty Scipio Hook Tender
  • "Well, it's good at least to hear that Metallica's still out there doing what they love most: ensuring they get their goddamn money."

    Rick Gonsales Unemployed

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