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Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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Europe Facing Butter Shortage

Growing demand from China and the developing world has left Europe facing a looming butter shortage, which industry officials have called a “major crisis.” What do you think?

  • “If they would just give in and refrigerate it like we do, maybe they wouldn’t be in this mess.”

    Susan Bitzegaio Trestle Sizer
  • “Well sure. ‘Everyone loves butter’ is just basic Econ 101.”

    Timothy Hamblin Duct Cleaner
  • “In this regard and in this regard alone, I’m proud to be an American.”

    Bruce Giancola Recall Canceler

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