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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Evangelical Pastor Under Fire

After admitting that he received sexual favors and meth from a male prostitute, President of the National Association of Evangelicals Ted Haggard resigned his post and was dismissed from his church. What do you think?
  • “Maybe if his wife were a man who provided him with crystal meth, this poor guy wouldn't have had to go searching for other ways to satisfy his urges.”

    Darren Kroll Elevator Repairman
  • “You see, this is exactly the kind of thing that happens when drug dealers get involved with religion.”

    Carl Lapis Floor Refinisher
  • “Show me in the Bible where it says ‘thou shall not engage in sinful sexual acts with another man,’ and that ‘that same man should also not be trafficking drugs to you’ all in the same sentence.”

    Jennifer Derringer Hotel Maid
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