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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Evel Knievel Dead

Legendary stuntman Evel Knievel died at home last week at the age of 69. What do you think?
  • "His spirit will live on in every vacant lot, every row of 13 Pepsi delivery trucks, and every 20-foot-long box filled with rattlesnakes."

    Alan Thurber Taxi Driver
  • "That's too bad. I was rooting for his oxygen to complete the leap over the blood-brain barrier."

    Cathy DuBrow Psychiatric Nurse
  • "Thank God. Now I can finally let my kids watch TV again. Of course, they are in their 40s."

    Strom Gustavson Roofer
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