Everclear Faces Iowa Ban

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Vol 46 Issue 03

Air America Ceases Operations

As of Thursday, liberal radio network Air America stopped all live programming and announced it was filing for Chapter 7 bankruptcy. What do...

Lane Kiffin Leaves USC For Dream Job At GameStop

LOS ANGELES—During his introductory press conference as USC's new head coach last Wednesday, Lane Kiffin told reporters that he would be leaving the school indefinitely to pursue his dream of working at GameStop.

Good-Looking One Not Working Today

BROOKLYN, NY—Coffee shop patron Justin Burke was disappointed by the Good-Looking One's absence, and admitted that he initially mistook the One With The Slightly Off Face for the Good-Looking One, but quickly realized his error once she turned around.
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Everclear Faces Iowa Ban

Following a hazing incident in which a freshman was hospitalized with a blood-alcohol content of 0.5 percent, Iowa is considering banning the high-proof neutral grain spirit known as Everclear. What do you think?
  • "But high-proof vodkas are often essential for freshmen whose gulping muscles aren't fully developed."

    Damon Woods
    Loader
  • "Everclear overconsumption is certainly a major problem at colleges, but such a ban would be entirely unfair to those of us Iowans who responsibly enjoy a glass of jungle juice with our meals each evening."

    Jessie Coles
    Job Order Clerk
  • "That's why freshmen aren't invited to my parties."

    Irvng Hunter
    Rubber Mill Operator
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