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The Pros And Cons Of Gene Editing

Recent advancements in gene editing have introduced a number of exciting possibilities for human advancement and raised difficult ethical questions. The Onion breaks down the pros and cons of gene editing.

Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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Excess Fat Diminishes Brainpower

A Northwestern University study found that for every point gained on a scale of obesity, older women lost mental skills. What do you think?

  • "I thought there was a correlation. It's amazing how many dumb fucks are also dumb, fat fucks."

    Victor Del Guidice Crisis Counselor
  • "I don't know—my grandma's a little hefty, but you should hear her go through multiplication tables."

    Mary Beke Bartender
  • "My wife is just as thin and as dumb as she was the day I met her."

    George Malone Building Superintendant

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