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The Life Of Diana, Princess Of Wales

Today marks 20 years since the funeral of Princess Diana, known to many as the “people’s princess.” The Onion looks back at the life of Princess Diana before it was cut tragically short.

Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.
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Executing SARS Spreaders in China

Last week, China threatened to execute individuals who knowingly spread the SARS virus. What do you think?
  • "Finally, they've hit on a workable method of population control."

    Michael Newell Systems Analyst
  • "We should let the World Health Organization do the executing. They never get to do the fun stuff."

    Colleen Matthews Teacher
  • "People with SARS should not be ostracized. Many people with SARS live happy, productive lives for three days before their lungs fall into their underpants."

    Charles Barker File Clerk
  • "We shouldn't be critical. It's an old Chinese custom to shoot people for no good reason."

    Sam Kennert Mechanic
  • "I've always said the Chinese don't know how to handle a crisis. Have you ever seen their fire drills?"

    Martin Reed Investment Banker
  • "SARS has a 90 percent survival rate. That's a higher survival rate than the one for just living in China."

    Angie Pulliam Florist

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