adBlockCheck

Executing The Mentally Disabled

Top Headlines

Politics

The Arguments For And Against Bernie Sanders Staying In The Race

Bernie Sanders is ramping up his efforts in the presidential race despite long odds, while sharpening his criticisms of a Democratic Party increasingly focused on the general election with Hillary Clinton as their presumptive nominee. Here are the arguments for and against Sanders staying in the race

Donald Trump’s Campaign: Myth Vs. Fact

Donald Trump’s political positions, personal history, and potential governing style have been the subject of much debate throughout the 2016 election. The Onion separates myth from fact in this breakdown of Trump’s campaign:

Report: Well, Here We Go

WASHINGTON—With Donald Trump’s two remaining GOP rivals suspending their candidacies and clearing a path for the billionaire businessman to assume the Republican presidential nomination, reports indicated Wednesday that, well, hoo boy, here we go.

Ted Cruz Dressed For Campaign Rally By Swarm Of Loyal Vermin

INDIANAPOLIS—In what has reportedly become a daily routine on the campaign trail, Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz stood alone in the center of his hotel suite Tuesday morning where he was carefully dressed and groomed by a swarm of loyal vermin.

How The GOP Plans To Stop Trump

In response to Donald Trump’s growing presidential primary lead, here’s how Republican Party leaders are ramping up efforts to prevent him from getting enough delegates to win the nomination outright.

It Unclear Why Thousands Of Loud, Chanting Trump Supporters Gathering Outside Arena In Iowa

‘There’s No Event Here, But They Keep Coming,’ Say Concerned Stadium Staff

DES MOINES, IA—Noting that the Republican presidential candidate had not announced any plans to visit Iowa since the state held its caucus 11 weeks ago, baffled sources reported Wednesday that it remains unclear why thousands of loud, cheering Donald Trump supporters are gathering outside the Wells Fargo Arena in Des Moines.

Obama Caught Trying To Jump White House Fence

WASHINGTON—The White House was briefly placed on lockdown Friday morning after “an addled and emotionally distraught” President Obama was reportedly caught trying to scale the North Lawn fence, the third such attempt this year, Secret Service officials confirmed.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Executing The Mentally Disabled

The U.S. Supreme Court is currently hearing a case challenging the constitutionality of the death penalty for retarded individuals. What do you think?
  • "The notion of executing retarded people is deeply offensive. It should be called the execution of the developmentally disabled."

    Anita Welch Homemaker
  • "I'd rather see these killers executed than force the American taxpayer to spend thousands on lemon cookies and safety scissors for the next 50 years."

    Robert Ready Banker
  • "You'd think judges would be lenient, since they probably were pretty easy to catch."

    Irfan Clarence Cashier
  • "How can we execute criminals for actions they don't even fully comprehend? They just wanted to pet the pretty lady's soft hair."

    Don Duquette Truck Driver
  • "Do we really need to waste money and resources killing the retarded when sending them into a hedge maze would be just as effective?"

    Art Gordon Systems Analyst
  • "Even more shocking is the fact that hundreds of these executions were carried out by a Texas governor with a 57 IQ."

    Mindy Andersen Reference Librarian

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close