adBlockCheck

Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.
End Of Section
  • More News

Executing The Mentally Disabled

The U.S. Supreme Court is currently hearing a case challenging the constitutionality of the death penalty for retarded individuals. What do you think?
  • "The notion of executing retarded people is deeply offensive. It should be called the execution of the developmentally disabled."

    Anita Welch Homemaker
  • "I'd rather see these killers executed than force the American taxpayer to spend thousands on lemon cookies and safety scissors for the next 50 years."

    Robert Ready Banker
  • "You'd think judges would be lenient, since they probably were pretty easy to catch."

    Irfan Clarence Cashier
  • "How can we execute criminals for actions they don't even fully comprehend? They just wanted to pet the pretty lady's soft hair."

    Don Duquette Truck Driver
  • "Do we really need to waste money and resources killing the retarded when sending them into a hedge maze would be just as effective?"

    Art Gordon Systems Analyst
  • "Even more shocking is the fact that hundreds of these executions were carried out by a Texas governor with a 57 IQ."

    Mindy Andersen Reference Librarian

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close