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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
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Extinct Lizard Named After Jim Morrison

The largest plant-eating lizard ever discovered, a 6-foot, 60-pound species that lived between 36 and 40 million years ago, has been named Barbaturex morrisoni in honor of the late Doors frontman Jim Morrison, who referred to himself as “The Lizard King.” What do you think?

  • “Getting extinct species named after them is what The Doors were all about.”

    Bob Jarchow Ordnance Engineer
  • “By 38 million years ago, everyone could already see it was destroying itself.”

    Shirley Trainor Sandblaster
  • “John Densmore, snubbed again.”

    Stuart Blasucci Lawnmower Mechanic

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