'Extreme Couponing' Craze Increases Newspaper Theft

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Deadline For Prior User To Remove Clothes From Dryer Extended 5 Minutes

JOHNSON CITY, TN—Upon finding the machine in her apartment building’s laundry room completely untouched since she last stopped by, exasperated local woman Sandra Hermus reportedly mounted all her magnanimity Monday and extended the deadline for the previous user to remove their clothing from the dryer by five minutes.

Man Races Against Time To Take Out Trash Bag With Widening Puncture

RIO RANCHO, NM—His pace steadily quickening as he rounded the corner out of his kitchen and made a beeline for the front door, local man Henry Parnasse reportedly found himself locked in a race against time Wednesday morning to take out a trash bag with a widening hole in its side.
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Coworkers Pull Off Daring One-Hour Lunch Break

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'Extreme Couponing' Craze Increases Newspaper Theft

A TV show about extreme coupon use has been blamed for an uptick in the number of newspapers stolen from driveways, newstands, and coin-operated dispensers. What do you think?

  • "You shouldn't judge until you've experienced the high that comes with saving 50 cents on a box of Hamburger Helper."

    Stuart Jackson
    Foam Charger
  • "I'll keep an eye out for anyone who seems to be buying more than their share of mayonnaise and Dr. Scholl’s Corn and Bunion Pads."

    Sarah McCrimmon
    Accelerator Operator
  • “I cut out the middleman and just steal the groceries I want.”

    Mitch Waterfield
    Systems Analyst