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'Extreme Couponing' Craze Increases Newspaper Theft

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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'Extreme Couponing' Craze Increases Newspaper Theft

A TV show about extreme coupon use has been blamed for an uptick in the number of newspapers stolen from driveways, newstands, and coin-operated dispensers. What do you think?

  • "You shouldn't judge until you've experienced the high that comes with saving 50 cents on a box of Hamburger Helper."

    Stuart Jackson Foam Charger
  • "I'll keep an eye out for anyone who seems to be buying more than their share of mayonnaise and Dr. Scholl’s Corn and Bunion Pads."

    Sarah McCrimmon Accelerator Operator
  • “I cut out the middleman and just steal the groceries I want.”

    Mitch Waterfield Systems Analyst

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