adBlockCheck

Entertainment

What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 31, 2017

Aries: They say there’s nothing quite like the bond between a mother and her child, but then they have yet to see your experimental new adhesive compound. Taurus: The stars, in their infinite wisdom, recommend that you check yourself this week, as not doing so might lead you to wreck yourself in the future.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.
End Of Section
  • More News

Eyes Wide Cut

In order to receive an 'R' rating from the MPAA, Stanley Kubrick's Eyes Wide Shut was digitally altered, with human figures added to obscure scenes of explicit sexuality. What do you think about what many film critics are condemning as censorship?
  • "I'm glad Kubrick was forced to alter Eyes Wide Shut. Otherwise, I wouldn't have been able to go with my daddy."

    Jessica Dybzinski 9-Year-Old
  • "This kind of censorship has gotten way out of hand. I was watching Spice on pay-per-view the other night, and they didn't even include the penetration shots."

    Patrick <br>Tidrow Bus Driver
  • "I would have preferred to see the NC-17 version, because I really get off on graphic depictions of alienation, paranoia and betrayal."

    George Fisk Systems Analyst
  • "Stanley Kubrick? Didn't he direct Sammy The Way Out Seal? Oh, no, I'm thinking of Norman Tokar."

    Diane Nyman Librarian
  • "I hear the original version has even more explicit footage showcasing the bare breasts of Sydney Pollack."

    Gene Stegman Civil Engineer
  • "If depraved filth is what you want to see, rent one of those porno tapes. But if you want to see a towering, final artistic statement by a major director, then could I have the porno tape?"

    Bob <br>Paciorek Roofer
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close