Face Transplants

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Face Transplants

The Cleveland Clinic has begun interviewing candidates for the world's first face transplant. What do you think?
  • "Is this strictly for disfigurement victims, or can I turn my trophy wife into a hot Asian chick if I feel like it?"

    Guy Clemmons
    Systems Analyst
  • "Finally, I will have the face of my baboon heart's desire."

    Kim Kovacs
    Veterinary Assistant
  • "Say goodbye to the old world, where you were limited to just one face on the boring old front of your head."

    Parker Knowleton
    Legal Aide